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A Virginia Tech and Columbine Conversation With A French Friend

My friend Claire is from France. We have known each other for nearly 10 years, and we had an interesting chat about Virginia Tech, Columbine, guns, people, philosophies, and information today.

I wanted to share it here.

Claire says:
I was watching bowling for columbine by michael moore this morning
Claire says:
and i thought of u
Claire says:
it was really near aurora
Claire says:
your town
Claire says:
my students were astonished
Jonathan says:
Columbine was very close.
Jonathan says:
I've actually met people since who were at school that day.
Claire says:
that's so terribl
Claire says:
what happens with guns there
Jonathan says:
What happens with guns here?
Claire says:
yes
Claire says:
I don't understand why it is still possible to buy one after such terrible events
Jonathan says:
America... land of the free.
Jonathan says:
Home of the brave.
Jonathan says:
Most people are under the false impression that they could actually defend themselves against the government if they had to.
Jonathan says:
At least that's the argument of people who really support gun programs.
Claire says:
do u think it'll change one day?
Jonathan says:
It is important to note though, that changing gun laws won't change anything.
Claire says:
really?
Claire says:
why?
Jonathan says:
If I'm messed up enough psychologically to go into a building and start shooting people, then I'm messed up enough to walk in with bombs I can learn how to make on the Internet using chemicals I can buy at any grocery store.
Jonathan says:
Guns aren't the problem.
Claire says:
what's the pb then?
Jonathan says:
People's warped perspectives on themselves and the world are the problem.
Jonathan says:
Television shows the average person 160 acts of violenece every day.
Claire says:
how can u explain that it happens in the USA and not anywhere else?
Jonathan says:
You put that in a normal person's brain, no problem, because they can separate things out.
Jonathan says:
How much more TV do we watch in the USA than elsewhere?
Jonathan says:
And it does happen elsewhere...
Jonathan says:
Just more here.
Claire says:
that's true
Jonathan says:
Happened in England like 3 years ago.
Claire says:
why can't they change v programs?
Jonathan says:
It's not just TV.
Claire says:
just for money reason?
Jonathan says:
TV's not really the problem.
Jonathan says:
Normal people have no problem seeing 150 acts of violence per day.
Jonathan says:
It's not good for them (which is why I really don't watch TV), but they can separate it out.
Jonathan says:
The problem is that there's no balance for some people.
Jonathan says:
They see violence on TV
Jonathan says:
They play with violence in video games
Jonathan says:
and their parents beat them.
Jonathan says:
Or don't pay any attention to them.
Jonathan says:
Or don't really care
Jonathan says:
Or...
Jonathan says:
Etc.
Jonathan says:
Or they were told that it's a good idea to spend 20 years of their life working at a job they hate, barely making enough money to get by.
Jonathan says:
Or making less than enough money to get by.
Jonathan says:
And because they were never taught to value life, or because somewhere along the line, they stopped valuing their own life, suddenly (over a period of years), they stop caring.
Jonathan says:
Or they spent 20 years in a relationship only to find out someone was cheating on them, and no one ever gave them the communication and introspective tools (which most of us get from our parents and environment) to deal with something so difficult.
Jonathan says:
The problem isn't with guns though. The problem is with what's going on in some people's heads.
Jonathan says:
How do you fix that?
Jonathan says:
One person at a time.
Jonathan says:
One smile at a time.
Jonathan says:
One hug at a time.
Jonathan says:
One thoughtful word, one caring action, at a time.
Jonathan says:
Make sense?
Claire says:
yes
Jonathan says:
Agree? Disagree? Thoughts?
Claire says:
agree
Claire says:
but what should we do?
Claire says:
do u think there is a solution?
Jonathan says:
Be the best person you can be. For yourself and for other people.
Claire says:
sure
Claire says:
but I mean for the rest
Jonathan says:
Someone you just bumped into on the street is the next COlumbine shooter.
Claire says:
can we do something or is it helpless?
Jonathan says:
You stopped them from doing it because you took the time to say Bonjour!
Jonathan says:
And smiled at them.
Jonathan says:
They thought, "Well, maybe there is some hope in the world."
Jonathan says:
And that thought pattern changes how they approach the next person they meet.
Claire says:
do u think so?
Jonathan says:
And more than anything, the pattern of their thoughts will determine what happens in their life.
Claire says:
I 'm not so sure
Claire says:
if they want to
Jonathan says:
Look at your own life...
Jonathan says:
You change because you want to.
Jonathan says:
You make changes in your life because you want to.
Jonathan says:
What usually makes you want to change?
Jonathan says:
New information.
Jonathan says:
New information generally comes from someone you meet.
Claire says:
sure
Jonathan says:
or someone you know.
Jonathan says:
You are the bringer of new information to the people you know.
Jonathan says:
And the people you don't know.
Claire says:
but some persons don't have the same way of thinking
Jonathan says:
How do they think?
Claire says:
they just don't think sometimes
Jonathan says:
Humans are incapable of not thinking.
Jonathan says:
The human MUST think.
Jonathan says:
It is part of our anatomy/physiology.
Jonathan says:
Monks study for years to learn how not to think.
Jonathan says:
(some monks)
Jonathan says:
How to just let the mind be free.
Jonathan says:
It's one of the most difficult things you can ever do.
Claire says:
I think that some people refuse it
Jonathan says:
So people are always thinking... they're just not thinking the same way you are.
Jonathan says:
They only see one outcome to their problem, because they haven't received enough information.
Claire says:
true
Jonathan says:
Or the information they have received has not been complete... or sometimes even accurate.
Jonathan says:
For example, I was taught to go to school, go to college, get a good job, work for 40 years, and retire (with my gold watch).
Jonathan says:
That's not good information...
Jonathan says:
rather, it's incomplete. It was complete 30 years ago.
Claire says:
sure
Jonathan says:
Today, I don't know anyone who has had the same job for longer than 10 years.
Jonathan says:
So if I'm a little bit on the edge, and no one has given me the tools to look at information accurately, then I look at that seemingly contradictory information and think that someone's trying to take advantage of e.
Jonathan says:
me.
Claire says:
but you were lucky enough to have a good education
Claire says:
which is not the case for all
Jonathan says:
Instead, because I have been taught how to look at all sides of an issue before having an opinion, I can try to take in the information, and understanding that I can choose how to view that information, I choose to view it in a positive way.
Jonathan says:
And that I can do something about it.
Jonathan says:
There's the word "Lucky" again.
Jonathan says:
Remember that I don't believe in luck, right?
Jonathan says:
I think I was fortunate that I have parents who love me, teachers who really taught me important things, and some influential mentors in my life.
Claire says:
yes
Jonathan says:
But I chose some of that as well.
Claire says:
true
Jonathan says:
I know plenty of people who come from incredibly difficult situations who CHOSE something different for themselves.
Jonathan says:
You've either heard the stories, or you know people like this too.
Claire says:
yes
Jonathan says:
People who, as we say in the states, "made their own luck."
Jonathan says:
What's the difference between the person who chose to make their situation better, and the person who bought a couple of guns and shot up the post office/school/dormitory?
Jonathan says:
information.
Jonathan says:
They received different information.
Claire says:
good info
Jonathan says:
That information can come in the form of a smile, a handshake, a hug, or a book.
Jonathan says:
Right. Good information.
Jonathan says:
There's so much good information in the world, and so little focus is placed on it.
Claire says:
you're right
Jonathan says:
People will spend all day reading tabloids and watching the news about how such and such terrible thing happened in the world.
Jonathan says:
Why is so much emphasis placed on it? Because people CHOOSE it.
Jonathan says:
People CHOOSE it, because there is so much emphasis placed on the negative.
Jonathan says:
The negative is further emphasized
Jonathan says:
And thus begins the downward spiral.
Claire says:
what a shame, eh?
Jonathan says:
If people stopped watching the news, the news would have to get better to get them back.
Jonathan says:
It is a shame, but we change it daily by our own thoughts and actions.
Jonathan says:
Did you smile at the person you passed on the street?
Jonathan says:
Did you make the decision to learn something new today?
Claire says:
I'm always smiling
Claire says:
don't u remember?
Jonathan says:
Did you make the decision to do something that made you uncomfortable because of what it could mean for someone else?
Jonathan says:
I know... you have a great smile!
Claire says:
yes
Claire says:
thank u
Jonathan says:
That smile is an infection that goes out into the world. Not everyone receives your infection.
Jonathan says:
But you hope that they will.
Claire says:
yes
Jonathan says:
Unless you're mentally insane, you can't smile and feel bad at the same time.
Jonathan says:
So you smile at someone else, they get infected, and smile back.
Claire says:
normally yes
Jonathan says:
And they smile at the next person, who thinks, "I wonder what they are smiling about."
Jonathan says:
?
Claire says:
true
Claire says:
lol
Jonathan says:
And that question becomes a thought in their mind.
Jonathan says:
That thought forces new information.
Jonathan says:
I wonder if they were smiling because it's sunny.
Jonathan says:
I wonder if they were smiling because they have a great family?
Jonathan says:
I wonder if they were smiling because they love their job?
Jonathan says:
I wonder...
Jonathan says:
And that wonder is a question in their brain.
Jonathan says:
"The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself."
Jonathan says:
In a bad situation, do you ask, "Why did this have to happen to me?"
Jonathan says:
Or do you ask "What's good about this situation?"
Jonathan says:
And sometimes the answer to "What's good about this situation?" is "I don't know."
Jonathan says:
But it FORCES new information.
Jonathan says:
Both questions force new inforation.
Claire says:
i like your way of thinking
Jonathan says:
It's just that the answers to one question are going to help you, and the answers to the other question are going to harm you.
Jonathan says:
Make sense?
Jonathan says:
Thanks!
Claire says:
sure
Jonathan says:
So the biggest difference between the person who chooses to make their situation better, and the person who bought a couple of guns and shot up the post office/school/dormitory?
Jonathan says:
The quality of the questions they are asking themself.
Jonathan says:
themselves...
Jonathan says:
And our job, if we truly want to make the world a better place, is to get people to ask themselves better quality questions.
Claire says:
you're right my friend
Jonathan says:
The mind can solve any problem... it's just that the problems most people are putting it to work on aren't the ones that need solving.
Claire says:
that's our mission
Jonathan says:
And you get people to ask themselves better questions by giving them better information.
Jonathan says:
A smile
Jonathan says:
A hug
Jonathan says:
A warm handshake
Jonathan says:
A book
Jonathan says:
(Remember last time we talked, I asked you about "Rich Dad, Poor Dad?"
Jonathan says:
Better questions.
Jonathan says:
from better information.
Jonathan says:
Make sense?
Claire says:
yes
Claire says:
a lot
Jonathan says:
There are some people in the world who say that this is all a bunch of new-agey bull sh*t.
Jonathan says:
They have been asking themselves bad questions for a long time.
Jonathan says:
And it's not our job to try and change them.
Jonathan says:
It's just our job to change the quality of the questions they are asking.
Jonathan says:
And we do that by freely giving them new information.
Jonathan says:
Information which forces their mind to ask questions which will benefit them, rather than information which forces their mind to ask questions which will harm them.
Claire says:
:)
Jonathan says:
Watch 15 minutes of the news, and you can't help but ask the question: "Why are all these terrible things happeneing in the world."
Jonathan says:
That's why I haven't watched an entire news program in 5 years.
Jonathan says:
And I'm better off for it.
Jonathan says:
I know what's happening in the world.
Jonathan says:
Probably better than most people who watch the news every night.
Jonathan says:
Make sense?
Claire says:
of course
Jonathan says:
I have a little more balanced view of what's actually going on, because I ask, and seek to know (rather than letting someone else tell me), what's actually going on.
Claire says:
and you're right to do that
Jonathan says:
I believe that we are in a state of awakening... that the world is ultimately getting better. Some people believe the opposite, because of the quality of the questions they're asking (which is determined by the information they are receiving). Whatever your true beliefs are, they tend to bring about exactly what you believe.

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